Don't Stand So Close To Me | rolala loves

Don't Stand So Close To Me

September 22, 2017

So I was waiting in line at the bank the other week and the person behind me was so close that it felt like she was right up on my butt and I could feel her breathing on my back. Because I'm not really into strangers all up on me, this of course made me feel uncomfortable so I shifted forward as soon as the line moved and stuck my foot out a little behind me in an effort to create a little distance. This person persisted and was still right up against me and my leg. She actually acted offended when I deigned to secure my bag under my arm. Well I don't know you or your intentions so excuse me if I don't want to give you a chance to reach into my bag. This is not an isolated incident and it has happened in a number of instances/venues. It's also not necessarily culture or age based though Asians tend to be way less cognizant of personal space. I say this as an Asian person who shops regularly in Chinatown.

I really try to be aware and respectful when it comes to personal space so I honestly don't understand this kind f behavior or where it comes from. I mean do people think the line will move faster if they crowd the person in front of them or are they so lacking skinship in their lives that this is the only way to get some? I mean if someone leans away from me, I would take that to mean that they might be uncomfortable that their space is being invaded. I always wonder how they would like it if someone did that to them? I've conducted an informal survey among my friends and the general consensus is that this is just rude and annoying. Usually shifting around will get most people to back off.  If I have a shopping bag, I place it behind my back. When I had really bad anxiety due to an illness some years ago,  it would make me hyperventilate when strangers got too close but one really shouldn't have to resort to any measures to secure a modicum of safe space if some people actually had any manners or decency. I don't usually bother to say anything because these type of people don't think they're doing anything wrong and can't be reasoned with.

One would think this is just a matter of basic etiquette but I guess not. So Rinoa and Squall (shoutout if you played FF VII!) are demonstrating the unacceptable and acceptable distance one should observe while queuing. The top is just way too close as far as I'm concerned. The only person who ever stands that close behind me is my husband and he usually does it because he knows it wigs me out to have strangers all up on my back. I think a foot of space shouldn't be too much to ask when it's not crowded.

What do you think about all this? Am I being too sensitive? What do you do when someone stands too close to you?
22 comments on "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
  1. I'm with you do not like when someone invades my space their is no need for that, I think some people do it intentionally I always look back and said excuse me and people back off. Great topic have a lovely weekend.

  2. Morning Rowena! Well, first I'm sorry it happened to you and that must be not the first time but I totally agree on everything you wrote. I dont think you are too much sensitive or bad, is just something respectful and when some stranger invade your space, it naturally makes u feel uncomfortable and not sure. I am as you. :/ Hope u have a good weekend dear xo

  3. I am totally with you on that, I just can´t stand people in my personal space, be it in queue, in the bus or anywhere really. In situations like this I usually turn around and confront them, asking them if there is a reason why they are standing so close. Of course many people get angry and I have been called names, but at least I had them off my back.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

  4. Such an interesting topic Rowena, I couldn't agree anymore, I don't like when people stands so close to me!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

  5. I HATE it when people do that, like back the f*ck off! I don't understand why some people have no sense of basic decency and just respect other's space. I actually told someone off before for the same thing. I turned and asked how can I help her because she's so close to me. She did apologize and backed off but it should have been common sense.

    Shireen⎜Reflection of SanityBurberry Beauty Giveaway

  6. I'm the same way, I can't stand when a stranger stands so close to me. The only thing I'm close to is my iphone 7. But sometimes, I also don't realize how close I am either, so I guess half the fault is mine.

  7. The pics are just too cute, Rowena:D
    This post just reminded me of when we were at a lineup at Universal. My husband was behind us, and when I turned around at one point, there was a gap between him and us in front of him. In turned out that the family behind him were right up against him. At one point, he couldn't take it anymore. What he did was that every time the line would move up, he would take one step forward and then one step back! I had to LOL but he was really pissed. He glared at them at one point while making sure to open his backpack and check that nothing was taken.
    Anyhoo, so agree with you about personal space. I understand in Asian countries that this is the norm (was born in the Philippines) but as my hubby did state, with all the space here we have in North America, that's not really necessary to be sooooo "intimate"!:D

  8. OMG I hate when people do that. I’ve actually had to ask people to back up, I know it sounded rude but why are you so close? There is such a thing as personal space. I agree with your friends, this is a rude and annoying habit that. Have a great weekend my friend.

  9. I have had a similar experience, and to be honest, I have actually told the person to kindly back up. I waited until they did because it's very irritating when you are inputting sensitive information. Sometimes it is cultural but most times depending on where you are in the world it is common sense to give a person space between you.

  10. You're definitely not being too sensitive. I don't like it either when people stand so close.

  11. It happened with me also. I have had a similar experience when my husband was in the hospital. It's so unfortunate that people don't respect women. I really hate them. I'm totally with you dear <3

  12. Omgosh! I can't stand when someone stands to close to me either! You're not being sensitive at all! Everyone is entitiled to have space! Have a great weekend Rowena!

  13. Excellent post (as always)!Thank you very much :)

  14. I agree with you, there's a thing called personal space and every person should know that especially if you have a choice to not invade that space.

    Capturing Life Memoirs |

  15. Oh I'm with you, there's no reason for people to stand so close! I don't like people up in my personal space at all. I don't mind it If I'm at a gig when everyone is all crowded together, but at any other time I want and need my personal space. It's just rude getting that close to strangers!

    Hope you had a great weekend :)

    Away From The Blue Blog

  16. You are not being too sensitive Rowena. I think its horrible. People nowadays, just seem to lack proper etiquette. There are some things you just don't do. I think because of my height people don't crowd me LOL Do a Michael Jackson twirl and that should get them to back off. LOL

  17. I got so excited when I saw the Rinoa and Squall figurines in your photo! Hello fellow FFVIII gamer! :D This was the first Final Fantasy game I played and I do wish they'd remake it, or at least remaster it in HD for the new Playstation devices so I can replay it... Anyways, back on topic...

    I definitely can't stand when people overstep into my personal boundaries in a non-crowded area, like why? I don't think you're too sensitive at all. I know I'd definitely react the same way, and honestly how the person invading *my* personal space is getting offended is beyond me - if anyone should be offended, it's me *rolls eyes*

    Jenny | Geeky Posh

  18. No, you were not too insensitive at all. It is a basic rule of etiquette to allow people their personal spaces. I always find it annoying whenever I get into such a situation and if I am at the grocery store, I would just use my cart as a wedge! Lol...

    Happy Mid Week.

  19. I love this post Rowena! And you're totally normal. But based on my personality, I would have said out loud to the individual "um, excuse me, but can you stand away just a little?" It usually does the trick. Lol.

    xo Jo

  20. First - yay to FFVIII! I love that you used Rinoa and Squall! lol
    And this is such an uncomfortable and irritating situation. I personally don't like it and don't understand why people get up so close and I don't think you are being sensitive at all. I think the total lack of self awareness of the person makes it worse.


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