Why I Don't Celebrate Valentine's Day & Choose Love Everyday

So my husband and I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day in many years. So many that I can't even remember when we stopped. Before you call me a hater, it's not that we have anything against love or romance. Actual love just seems like it has become overshadowed by consumerism for Valentine's Day. Romance isn't about compulsory flowers, chocolates or expensive presents. I actually saw a crazy article about how if your significant other doesn't buy you some particular present then you should dump them. Seriously what kind of nonsense is that? Love isn't defined by material gifts (unless you're a gold digger). It's about what comes from the heart! Yes I get that Valentine's Day can also be about doing something special for your significant other but why wait for that one day of the year. You should always be doing nice things for each other.

We celebrated 14 years of marriage earlier this month. I'm not gonna say our marriage is perfect. I mean we do fight (usually over the dumbest most petty things) but we always make up and we try not to take each other for granted. Choosing the right person to marry is very important but both people also need to agree to make a commitment to be intentional in the relationship and never stop working at it. I've seen couples who've been together for a long time but don't seem happy at all and I often hear people complaining about a lack of romance in their marriages. Well it doesn't have to be that way if you make the effort to not let it slip away.

Secrets of Long Lasting Love, Celebrate Love Every Day

We do this by choosing love everyday with a number of habits and rituals that are just innate now.

1. We always hug and kiss and say "I love you." before he leaves the house each morning.
2. We always end each phone call with an I love you even if he's just calling to tell me that he just got out of the subway.
3. We make a point to always thank each other for the things we do for one another whether they're big or small. Romantic stuff like killing bugs. That's me who usually does it btw but I always thank my husband for his bravery when he takes care of it.
4. We think about each other when we're apart. Sometimes we text during the day just because. My husband even sends texts when he's right next to me.
5. We cuddle every day.
6. We still make a point of going out on dates regularly.
7. We spend time together.
8. We surprise each other. I'll stick notes in his lunch occasionally and he sometimes comes home with my favorite treats.
9. We don't wait for special occasions to do special things for one another. I make my husband's favorite dishes even when I don't like them or they're a pain to prepare. And he goes out of his way to get me things I like. He went out in a crazy blizzard once just to satisfy my craving for hamachi don. This was before Seamless btw.
10. We have own own language. This may sound silly but it keeps us close because it's something only we understand.
11. We support each other no matter what. Our mantra is everything will always be ok as long as we're together.
12. We realize how fortunate we are to have one another and it's not something to take lightly or for granted.

Secrets of Long Lasting Love, Celebrate Love Every Day

Real love isn't just about the grand gestures because it's the small things that add up to keep love and happiness alive. And love every day is infinitely more rewarding than celebrating love on some designated day. Sometimes I think back to when we were dating and it amazes me that we're now still living out the dream we had back then of always being together. Every day we go to bed together, wake up together, snuggle, laugh, talk, work through things and grow together. And we know just how lucky we are that our dream has become a reality and that sometimes reality is even better than a dream.

One of our songs. We can't ever resist singing along whenever this comes on...


nuria said...

I choose love everyday too but on Valentines we make sure that we do not work (even if it was Sunday as we work sometimes weekends) and do something together :)

Doctor Anne said...

I feel the same way too. Valentines Day has never had a special meaning to me, maybe because it never was a big thing in Germany before television introduced us to the concept while watching American tv shows. Show a little love everyday is much more important.

Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

Jackie Harrison said...

This is so well said and is so true cherish each other everyday make new memories Valentine's Day is one day but real love is eternity.

Lilli said...

Oh my Rowena, this is the most beautiful post Ive read from you and so far my fav ever. I do agree with you about Valentines Day and even more agreed about what love, relationships and marriages are meant for. Your habits are way too sweet and definitely make all the differences, u and ur hubby are a beautiful and special couple. I do hope my heart will beat again son:) Hugs! xo

Beauty Unearthly said...

Lovely post dear! Have a great week! xx

Paola Lauretano said...

Such a Lovely post Rowena, Great job!
xo Paola
My Facebook

Anonymous said...

That's the way to do it! Show each other love every day!

Marcela Gmd said...

Beautiful post!!!!
Have a good week, dear Rowena!!! and my g+ for you!!!

Besos, desde España, Marcela♥

Ivana Split said...

I can relate to everything you wrote. I don't think me and my husband ever exchanged gifts for Valentine's day, we don't even do it for Christmas. I feel it is actually more sweet to buy something at a spur of the moment thing, than when one is 'supposed' to buy a gift. I don't like the way Valentine's day is being commercialized either.

I totally agree with everything you wrote about marriage. We need to invest in our marriages because if we don't how is our partner supposed to know we care about him and our relationship. So many people just take their spouse for granted and that ends up with both partners being unhappy.

Beautifully written article! I really enjoyed reading it.

little luxury list said...

I completely agree! Relationships are always hard work and it is SO easy to take each other for granted or vent at each other, esp. with kids in the picture!
I love what you and your husband do. We are trying to make a point to speak each other's "love languages" and try to both tell and show each other how we feel quite often.

little luxury list formerly Chic 'n Cheap Living

Blackswan said...

Nice thoughts, Rowena! Hubby & I celebrate V-day for the past 26 yrs of marriage, but we don't exactly exchange gifts. We just either have a nice dinner outside or I'll cook. Hope you had a good one, babe! xoxo

Emmylou said...

Rowena, I love this post:) I don't celebrate Valentine's Day myself. I've never brought it up on my blog, but that was actually the day my dad passed away.
I'm also lucky enough to be the guy who's not only my best friend, but someone who shows me every day that he cares. I just hope he feels I do the same:)

Elle Sees said...

mothers should be celebrated every day, not just mother's day, but really who does that? so i don't mind valentine's day as a day to celebrate love. you don't have to buy anything, just a great reminder of all types of love. i;m not married or have a boyfriend, but i love it! i do get my dog a treat though. that's crazy right? great post, rowena!

Lenya said...

What a beautiful post, Rowena. I can relate to everything you said. Showing and feeling love daily it's the key imho. But I also love Valentine. For me Valentine is the birthday of love, like my birthday, your birthday, you know. We celebrate our birthday, so why not celebrate the birthday of love. Anyway happy new week, Rowena.

Stanislava E. said...

Hi Rowena! I do agree with you that if you love someone, you should show it to him/her everyday, and Valentines Day is definitely another time of the year when people get easy to manipulate. But your habits are sweet, as well as your song! Your relationship (relationship, not marriage) definitely sound like a life goal! I don't celebrate Valentines Day either, since in my country we celebrate the Day of wine on 14th Feb. Thanks for sharing this personal story with us! xo

Gabrielle said...

I completely agree that love should be shown towards those we care about every single day of the year and not just February 14th. Having said that, I also love any reason/excuse to celebrate something with a theme, and so I've unwittingly become a fan of any holiday - Valentine's included! Congratulations on your 14th wedding anniversary by the way, how exciting! :)

Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice

Unknown said...

Totally agree, V-day is not for me either!


Anonymous said...

Beautifully written! I agree with what you say, V Day is a big business, just like Christmas. And congratulations on 14 years! It was interesting to read the list of things you do to show the love. I hope that one day I will find someone I can love this way as well.


Stella said...

Your love routine/rituals are beautiful. Yes, I agree VDay is mostly consumerism.
However, I don't see the point of hating it. If someone doesn't want to celebrate then no pressure or big deal. :)
Stella from a Looks & Travels

Beauty Follower said...

We should celebrate love every day!!!


buffalo journeys said...

Beautiful post! We don't do much celebrating either, except some candies and little cards for the kids. I totally agree, choose love everyday and don't let some holiday dictate when you should do nice things for your love ones.

jessica // union shore said...

That's how we are too! We try to love and appreciate each other all year long. My hubby does like to make me dinner... he even does the dishes too!! :)

Midnight Cowgirl said...

I agree that we should celebrate love every day! Although, I don't mind a day filled with chocolate and flowers :)

Corinne said...

This is so sweet! I wish I could find someone that would actually put up with me haha.

Corinne x

Kelsey&Kenecha said...

Such a lovely post!


Rebeca Muñoz López said...

I feel great sincerity in your words, you know? We think similarly, not one I completely celebrations San Valentin and I think that love can be expressed in a thousand ways!


Vanessa N said...

Khalil....Fong..is cuter than I thought? (I KID, NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST)
I never really understood the point of Valentine's Day for couples either, as love should be/can be celebrated on a daily basis, but in defense of the holiday, I suppose it's an opportunity to really step back and doing something extra special/out of the ordinary/perform a grand gesture of love on a day that's so deeply associated with ~love~ and ~romance~. (Holla @ peer pressure and traditions)
I personally don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but I do celebrate Galentine's Day. Congrats on 14 years, Rowena! #oldmarriedcouplestatus (LOL)

trishie said...

What a great post, Rowena. Sounds like you and your hubby have a really loving and strong relationship. I;m all for showing love everyday of the year too but I must say I particularly enjoyed my sleep in and cooked breakfast on Valentine's Day!

Sybil said...

what a perfect post for this time!!:D thanks for sharing the love!

Have a great week!
Animated Confessions

sonia // daring coco said...

Wow 14 years! That is impressive and inspiring. I too don't believe in simply holding out for just one day a year to "spoil" your significant other. I think small acts of love and kindness should be prevalent on a daily basis. Another blogger had also posted about this, but more on the singles side, and said to use V-Day as a day to spoil yourself, or do something kind for yourself if you don't have someone special. I thought that was a lovely way of looking at a day so strongly marketed and focused solely on couples


The Dainty Dolls House said...

I love Valentine's day, but it's mainly because I love all the stuff that comes out in red and pink. I agree with you, love is every day and I don't really need a day set aside for it to show love to anyone. It's commercialised and over done most times really. And also cheap, haha. If we showed love every day we wouldn't need such a holiday xx


What a lovely sentiment. Sounds like you two are very sincere with each other. Yes, you should love everyday just as I feel everyone should have gratitude daily. My bf and I do a celebration day each month, it's not an anniversary that's another day. But, just spending time together and sharing memories with each other and what we love most about being together. Regular date nights are also great, it doesn't have to involve spending a lot of money, that's where some couples get it wrong. Enjoy your week.

Valerie said...

This is such a sweet post! I definitely agree that love is not defined by material gifts! Congrats on 14 years of marriage!


Yvonne said...

So true! Love is definitely the sum of all the little bits and pieces of the small gestures to show how much you care about the other person.

Effortlesslady said...

Awe you have said it all. Love should be celebrated everyday. I hate bow Vals day is all commercialised!

Jo said...

Rowena, everything you said in this post is so true. My husband and I don't celebrate V-Day too, since we do most of the stuff you mentioned. I'm grateful for everything I have in my life now and I love that song and Khalil Fong of course. :)

xo Jo


Champagne Star said...

I agree; there shouldn't be a "special" day to show someone how much you love them. You never know what life may bring your way, so you should show your loved one just how much you love and value them everyday while you can.

Ivana said...

Oh Rowena, this was such a beautiful, thoughtful and heart warming post! I couldn't agree more with you: what we do every day is much more important than what we do only once in a while. Grand gestures are worth nothing, if the everyday kindness and love don't follow suit. Your marriage is a huge source of inspiration to me, and I love that you both work so hard to keep the love and romance alive: it's so encouraging! Big hugs, and thank you so much for sharing a little glimpse of your life!

alivegurl said...

So much applause for this post! Rowena, hats off to you for voicing the thoughts of so many lovers in the world. Hundreds of years ago Valentine's Day may have worked out for everyone but—let's face it!—love isn't mean to be for just one frikking day. If anything, V-day encourages the image love has on the public that it needs to be a grand gesture and hollywood romantic, when in fact, the little things matter more. So why blow up all your money on gifts you may or may not need when you can simply offer a helping hand to your loved one(s) all year long? Thanks for sharing this and may your life be full of love!

Alive as Always

Jenmarie said...

My husband and I like to celebrate Valentine's Day (we call it "Love Day" for some reason, lol!). Our relationship sounds a lot like yours. It's refreshing to hear about others who care about their significant other and enjoy spending time with them. People are always making negative remarks about my marriage with nonsense like "just you wait". I think because we look young they like to put us down or tell me how my marriage will be because they're unhappy, which is so ridiculous. They are NOT us. Just because they aren't happy doesn't mean that's how all marriages are.

Thanks for sharing this and Happy Anniversary to you both!

Emily said...

Amen, love is such a gift, and it bears celebrating EVERY DAY, especially the love of God.

A Very Sweet Blog said...

This was BEAUTIFUL! Rowena, you are right! Love should be shown to one another each and every day. That is a sign of a healthy relationship. Valentine's Day should be something extra (if any). I think people have totally gotten it wrong.

JeannLiew | Luminnej said...

I think you are absolutely correct, Rowena. Love should be celebrated everyday, in small little ways if you really love the other person in your life.

This is such a heartwarming piece and it's amazing to read that both of you put in the extra effort and take the extra mile to make it work. Marriage can fall into a lull and mundane state if couple don't proactively work at it ... I am happy for you both.

Wishing you and happy many more beautiful years ahead! Have a lovely new week, my friend *_^ Glad to hear that the weather there is warming up already!


Mihaela Pojogu said...

Today for us, Romanians, is sort of V day named Dragobete. Sometimes we do something special, sometimes not, love is present in our life day by day as your ritual on leaving home.
Love and peace! And congratulations on 14 years!