Being Fake Is Too Much Work

Being real, Being real vs. being fake, It's too hard to be fake

I don't think I have what it takes to be fake because it involves too much work. I've done the pretending to be fine or happy when I'm not to get through certain situations as I'm sure we all have but that's my limit. It would be too oppressive and tiring to have to pretend that I live a certain type of lifestyle and like things that I don't.  Plus I just can't with fakeness and lying. I once knew a compulsive liar/narcissist and just watching her little "act" was exhausting. I mean to have to constantly come up with lies and then trying to keep all your lies straight. The lies would range from the outrageous to faking serious health issues to gain sympathy to ones misrepresenting her appearance. But if you tack on 5 inches to your height, people are going to realize you’re not that when they meet you. This person would constantly post photos of herself with all sorts of filters and then say that she didn't have to use filters because she knew how to angle her camera (yeah right!) She also liked to act like she was some sort of jet setter and passed off photos from Google as her own. And she had the temerity to choose photos that were  much better quality than anything she could take herself. It's actually quite sad because her issues likely go beyond just being attention thirsty to something mental. She probably thinks she’s actually fooling people just because no one cares enough to call her out.

Fake people, Being real, Being real vs. being fake, It's too hard to be fake

Wanting to present yourself in the best way possible is only natural and a little light retouching is fine but pretending to be someone or something that you're not and manufacturing an entire lifestyle is some extreme next level faking. And this internet and Instagram age we live in probably perpetuates that sort of behavior. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little curious and fascinated by why people do it. What you do get out of misrepresenting yourself? Is it for attention, an ego boost, or to get people to like you? And what do you do when the way you represent yourself on social media is completely different from what you're like IRL? Like that fashion blogger with the alliteratively named blog who is probably a size 8 (which is perfectly fine) in reality and constantly Photoshops herself into a size 2. This person goes to a lot of events and shows up in many photos that aren't taken and edited by her. How do you reconcile that? Call me jaded but I don't believe most of what I see online and I don't envy anyone. After all it's apparently not all that difficult to fake a trip to Coachella and a rich lifestyle. It takes a little effort but it can be done.

20 comments

Linda, Libra, Loca said...

I don't think I´d have it in me either - it must be really exhausting. The problems your acquaintance had must have been really deep, otherwise she wouldn't have gone through all this effort to make every think she was someone she clearly wasn't.

Carolina G. Ticala said...

Todo es tan bonito! Gracias por tu visita! Feliz día precios@!♥️♥️♥️

Blackswan said...

Don’t thik I can be a great pretender; it’s just too hard. xoxo

Ivana Split said...

I watch a few videos with a psychologist who explained narcissist personalities and their behaviour and I remember thinking- they are really unhappy and empty people inside, that is so sad. On the other hand, it is hard for me to feel for someone who has no empathy for anyone else and that's pretty much the definition of a narcissist.

Social media and the Internet only fuel such behavious because they make it easy for people to fake their lifestyle and achieve that illusion of a perfect life and a good public image that narcissist are so desperate to preserve. You make a good point about people not calling them out because they really don't care that much. They think they are fulling anyone but they aren't.

Jackie Harrison said...

Wow for someone to go to that extreme something is wrong mentally. The need for attention or for fitting in must go back to their childhood. I prefer to beat to my own drum I prefer to be myself than any of these people that try to hard to make themselves bigger than they are. Great post.

R's Rue said...

Great post Rowena.

Beauty Unearthly said...

Hello, thanks for the information. Have a nice day!

Emmylou said...

O my gosh! I j just clicked on that link, Rowena! What...da...heck?!? I didn't even think that people are doing this, or that it's so super easy to do it and dupe people. That is just too sad:( And I so agree....I don't know how people who constantly put up a front and lie can keep it up? SMH.

Lena L said...

I guess people can be drawn to fake things (both creators and followers for fake things) for different reasons but I don't believe any of them would be valid or justified. Whatever they may argue, I think there are very clear lines between being fake and being imaginative. Plus it requires tons of efforts and time to fake things, as you mentioned. Why not create something with the resources, I say.

Ivana Split said...

have a nice day!

little luxury list said...

That's just really sad. Do some people feel such an emptiness that they have to create a fake life for themselves? I didn't realize (though am not surprised) by all the fake posts. People go to some pretty great lengths to pretend to be somewhere!

FASHION TALES said...

I agree and I am not envious of anyone either, to be honest. I always wondered how some bloggers seem to afford to go all over the world every week, designer this and that yet never talk about working, etc. Seems like a lot of effort. Pretty sad about the fake jet-setting, health issues? ... lying about your height is bonkers to me! I have unfollowed a lot of bloggers that are so vain lately, I can't handle all the unnecessary Selfies, LOL! Being a fashion blogger certainly isn't what it used to be.

ALLIE NYC said...

Yes this person has some deep seated emotional issues I am sure. But with faking she is not alone. I do not have a problem with basic retouching. The camera does not "see" the way the human eye does and is much less sophisticated at registering light which is why shadows are exaggerated in photos can make people look older ( and heavier) then they do in person.

So the image the camera catches to begin with is not exactly real. So basic retouching to counter this fine. But it is when people go way overboard and look like a completely different person that it gets to be a bit much.

And faking trips, good Lord. But I guess when this all people see on social media it not all that surprising. I really do not have the energy level to care about all that much. I kind of think faking your numbers, likes and followers is worse. But again not surprising. I think much of this goes back to IG, which I am slowly starting to really hate.

Allie of
www.allienyc.com

Gabrielle said...

It is certainly a shame some people feel the need to present themselves in a false way online, but above all else i feel as though those people are more vulnerable than most and shouldn't be shamed for it. Instead they should be helped! Which I think is pretty much what your'e saying in this post :) Have a lovely weekend, Rowena!

Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

Pilar said...

I never understood why anyone would want to be fake. I try to avoid fake people. Have a great weekend Rowena!

Sakuranko said...

I prefer always to be myself~ But yeah you have a valid point. This is probably the reason because sometimes I spent a lot of time without publishing nothing because I don´t feel in the way of publishing.

Shireen L. Platt said...

Sounds like her insecurities are at all time high but yes, social media encourage and bring out narcissism in society. I don't know how some do it, pretending to be someone who they are not....surely it gets tiring after a while?

Paola Lauretano said...

Sounds so sad, not everyone live the life they dream about... but happiness is in the little things, be yourself!
Kisses, Paola.

Expressyourself

Mica said...

This is so true! And while I know blogging can be time consuming and stressful, I sometimes wonder if blogger burnout is more from the 'keeping up appearances' stress than actually just simple blogging.

There was a series done probably a few years ago now that I wish I had a link to - it was about life outside the square and it showed you the perfectly posed / composed / filtered insta photo then a wider shot of the full scene and it was so eye-opening, a good reminder that all is not what it seems online.

I feel sad that people feel the need to create a different life online, and sad that some people think everything they see online is real.

Hope that you are having a nice weekend :)



Away From Blue

Jenny said...

Trying to be someone you're not is just exhausting, and it just requires more and more lies to keep up the facade. It's actually sad to see these Instagrammers photoshop themselves into places they haven't been, I really don't get who they're trying to impress.

♥︎ Geeky Posh